Rules (Of course there are rules!)

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we didn’t have to have rules?   If everyone knew how to comport themselves in a manner that is fitting for polite (or not polite) company?

Unfortunately there are those who need to be reminded so…………

Honest debate is great and comments are welcome even if the opinions differ from mine.

The following are prohibited and comments containing these will not be published:

  • Name calling (sorry, I don’t tolerate it with my kids, grandkids and not from you either)
  • *Four* letter language
  • Threats of any kind
  • Spamming
  • Advertising

 

Riding the roller coaster of emotion

I want to start this a little differently.   I have a scenario here and a quick poll related to it.

Let’s start by laying out the scenario.

  • The place:  Crowded parking lot like Wal-Mart or a Mall.
  • The participants:   Driver in a car and a Pedestrian.
  • Visibility: slightly limited

The driver is in the car and getting ready to back out of the parking spot.   Driver looks carefully both ways and the aisle is clear as far as the driver can see.  The driver slowly starts to ease out of the spot when a pedestrian appears and walks right behind the moving car causing the driver to slam on the brakes.

Driver thinks:  I almost hit him!   Why don’t people understand that this isn’t just for walking, people are driving cars here and you can’t just walk behind one that is moving.   What a stupid thing to do!  How am I ever going to get out of here if no one will stop and let me finish backing out.

Pedestrian thinks:  What an idiot.    He should have seen me and stopped.   It doesn’t matter if he was moving or not, I have the right of way because pedestrians always have the right of way.

Put yourself in the place of the driver and think about how you would react.   Then switch places and put yourself in the place of the pedestrian and think about how you would react.

 

 

Congratulations if you chose the last answer!

The interesting thing here is that both the driver’s reaction and the pedestrian’s reaction are ‘valid’ emotional reactions.  Emotional reactions should typically be followed by objective reactions and thought however.   Maybe he didn’t see me or Maybe I should have waited a moment more first.   It’s this ability to temper our emotional reactions with objectivity and/or logic that allows us to navigate the ups and downs of living.

Consider a toddler.   They haven’t learned objectivity and they haven’t learned logic.   They are ruled by their emotions, which is why it is so important for Mom and Dad to guide and teach them self control.   Have you ever seen a young child totally out of control in a temper tantrum?  Their high level of emotion at that moment makes it almost impossible for them to regain self control without assistance.  That assistance can take on many forms, from a firm hand to getting the child into a quiet place where they can’t get the attention they are seeking.

Being emotional is a great thing.  Our emotions help us to connect with other people and to form long lasting bonds.   Our emotions drive our compassion and help us to feel empathy for others.  But being emotional all the time has it’s down sides as well.

Living ruled by emotions is exhausting and a frequent cause of ‘mental breakdown’ and hampers the ability to move through daily life without feeling like it’s a constant roller coaster of ups and downs and twists and turns to the point that it’s impossible to get through.

It can cause relationships to fracture and friends to disappear.  It can cause coworkers to want to keep their distance and cause tension between parents and children.  It can color every situation we look at and every decision we have to make to the point that we are unable to make those decisions or navigate the situations.

That roller coaster can take a significant toll on your health and well being.  The price it extracts is more than many of us can pay.

How about you?   Are you riding the batman of emotional roller coasters or are you riding the kiddie roller coaster that has more level, smooth places than ups and downs?

Here are some things you can do to ease off the roller coaster.

  • Read your bible and pray.  Studies show that people who read the Bible and pray have less major stress related health problems
  • Get a hobby
  • Volunteer for an activity that focuses on helping others
  • Visit a retirement center or nursing home and talk to the residents
  • Walk
  • Join a book, sewing, quilting, chess, dancing, dining or other kind of club
  • Start a book, sewing, quilting, chess, dancing, dining or other kind of club

Whatever you do, be kind to yourself and let that roller coaster take a day off, or a few days off or even a few years.

 

Christianity and Abortion

There are not enough words to express my deep heartache about the current acceptance of abortion by many Christians and churches.  The tragic ending of a life not by accident, disease or trauma, but by deliberate choice.  It cuts to the very heart of me to even consider that not only is it accepted but somehow we have entered into the belief that God is ok with it.

Consider what God has to say.

  • Genesis 1:27  So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created them male and female he created them.
    • God didn’t create animals in his image, he created us in his image.   We are special because we are created in the very image of God.
  • Jeremiah 1:5  Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you as a prophet to the nations.
    • Does God not know us like this as well?
  • Genesis 25: 22-23  But the children struggled together within her and she said, “If all is well, why am I like this?  So she went to inquire of the Lord.  And the Lord said unto her:  Two nations are in your womb, two peoples shall be separated from your body. One people shall be stronger than the other and the older shall serve the younger.
    • Before they were ever born, God recognized them as distinct and separate from one another,  2 different children with different personalities and futures.
  • Matthew 19: 13-15  Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them.  But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.   Jesus said, ” let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these”  When he had laid his hands on them, he went on from there.
    • Jesus places great importance on little children.   They are recognized as important in the kingdom of heaven.
  • Genesis 9:6 “Whoever sheds mans blood, by man his blood shall be shed.  For in the image of God he made man.
    • Spoken during God’s instructions to Noah and his family
  • Exodus 21:22-23 If men fight and hurt a woman with child, so that she gives birth prematurely, yet no harm follow, he shall surely be punished accordingly as the woman’s husband imposes on him; and he shall pay as the judge determines.  But if any harm follows, then you shall give life for life
    • Harm in this case is implied to be to the prematurely delivered infant.

It is clear throughout the bible that God values human life and has given us strict instructions against murder, which is the shedding of innocent blood.

We have crafted our carefully reasoned excuses on why we should be allowed to have abortions.   My body-my choice, population control, poverty, rape and so on.  We have already established that as far as God is concerned each human is created in his image and that murder is wrong.  We have shown that God recognizes children in the womb as human and distinct personalities and futures.  God has commanded us that the shedding of innocent blood is wrong.    It has been established that there is a penalty for murder and that God considers the shedding of innocent blood murder.

We have willingly allowed ourselves to be blinded to the truth.   Because it makes it easier, no child no worries.  Free to go on about our lives as if it had never happened.   But that’s not the truth.   It doesn’t assuage the guilt, it doesn’t do away with the deep depression, it doesn’t do away with the spiraling down into alcoholism, drugs, promiscuous sex and other dangerous behavior that so many women suffer after having an abortion.   We tell ourselves that it only affects us.   That’s not any more true than the assumption that God is ok with it all.    How many men have been grieved by the loss of a child they never got to know, how many men suffer this?

Oh we can go on about how many fathers don’t pay child support or how many kids live in poverty.   We can talk about viability and how pre-born children can’t survive on their own before a certain number of weeks (full term infants can’t survive on their own either).  We can go on about choice and how we must have free birth control and the choice of abortion all the while implying that we are somehow not capable of making other choices that are available to us (abstinence, adoption etc.)  Those are just distractions, meant to turn us away from the real truth of the matter.   People who run from their responsibilities will always be with us.   Choices are always available to us.  We cannot make something that is definitely, horribly wrong into something that is right by pointing to all the wrong things that people do everyday about other things and by denying the validity of the other choices we can make.

No matter the explanations, we can’t change the fact that the life created in the womb is a living, growing, child uniquely created with it’s own DNA, fingerprints, personality and other characteristics, regardless of the stage of development.  It will never be anything other than a human life regardless of the method God ordained to bring it into the world.

And no matter how we try, we can’t make it right in the eyes of God.

 

Speaking from the heart…

The need to write these words has been coming on for awhile.   Too much is happening to hold it in.   I am going to speak straight from my heart.

First understand something about me.  I don’t condone wrong, whether it comes in the guise of racism, or violence or whatever and regardless of whomever is the perpetrator of such, family, friends, acquaintances and so on.  Also I am a people watcher.  From as young as I can remember I have been fascinated by people.  How they act, what they do, what they say.   I read all the time.   I read articles and blog posts from all sides of an issue and the comments that are made to them.  The things I write here have become obvious to me over the last year or so in the comments and writings of others.  ‘Others’  refers to people of every color, nationality and gender as does ‘we’ in the rest of this piece.

We live in an fallen and broken world.   It is filled with the schemes and plans of the evil one and humans all too willing to follow him straight into hell.

My heart is breaking right now for our country, for the people who live here.   People filled with despair and no hope, people who have a responsibility to protect and serve, people who want whats right and want the deep divisions to be healed.

There are deeply deluded people, mentally ill people, misguided people and people filled with evil in every walk of life and of every race and color.   Evil is no respecter of persons.  It doesn’t pick and choose by race, country, gender or creed.    We are all susceptible to it.

With this being said, I can’t keep silent another moment.    I have friend, coworkers and acquaintances from countries all over the world.   For many of them I know their hearts.  These words are not directed to them.

#BlackLivesMatter, this is directed to you and those who espouse your views.

You have a serious perception problem.   A huge one.   I understand what you are trying to get across, but you are failing miserably.   If you want to capture the hearts and minds of those around you, you have to live and believe your message and change how you are presenting it.

First, STOP the violence.   Distance yourselves publicly from anyone who would perpetrate violence in your name.   Distance yourselves publicly from those who would pervert your message for their own gain or agenda.  Do your best to stop the destruction, burning and looting.  Be the voice of reason and calm.  You can’t afford not to.  As long as you do not speak loud and strong against the violence and those who are doing it,  and against those who would pervert your message for their own agendas, the people you are trying to reach are going to reject you and your message and even actively work against you!

Second, even though it may be a ‘tired old cliche’ actions really do speak louder than words.   We can’t trust that you really believe that #BlackLivesMatter.  It is turned on and off like a faucet.   You turn it on any time Law enforcement is involved in the death of a black person, but you can’t be bothered to speak out against black on black violence.   Either #BlackLivesMatter or they don’t.  You don’t get to pick and choose when they matter.   They either matter all the time or not at all.  They are inextricably intertwined and can’t be separated.  They have to matter in the inner city, when little girls and little boys are killed by stray bullets that go into their homes and kill them.  They have to matter when young black males shoot it out in the streets.  They have to matter when fathers and mothers, daughters and sons are killed in drive by shootings.  They have to matter when young black people die because they are addicted to drugs. They have to matter when the young black women are at the abortion clinic terminating the life of a black infant who doesn’t even have a chance to matter.  They have to matter ALL the time!  Not just when you can make a story out of it.   You are losing the support of your neighbors and friend and all those watching from afar because they don’t believe that Black Lives really do matter to you.  I have even been told direct to my face that I don’t need to worry or care about those black folks who live in the inner cities of Chicago, Detroit, Louisiana and other places because they will take care of their own.    I see how well that is working and it seems that someone surely does need to worry about it.

Third, we are all the same under the skin.  We have the same body parts, our circulatory system works the same, our DNA works the same, we all have a beating heart.  We are all humans and we are all connected.   You can’t separate your life from my life and the police lives and the military lives and the politician lives and the hispanic lives and the asian lives and the native lives and the white lives.  If one life matters, #AllLivesMatter.   You will have more people willing to support you and not turning their backs on you if you approach this as a solution we can only achieve by working together rather than beating people over the head that #BlackLivesMatter is more important than #AllLivesMatter.   #BlackLivesMatter BECAUSE #AllLivesMatter.  You can’t have one without the other.  This has to be part of your message.  It’s not inconsistent to acknowledge that.

Fourth, it’s going to take all of us working together to forge new relationships and understandings and to solve the issues that are plaguing us today.   We have to set aside biases and hatred and all the other prejudices that keep us from coming together to solve these issues.    Working together mighty things can be accomplished.   This is made very clear in the story of the Tower of Babel from the Bible.  Even God himself said so.

Genesis 11:1-9New International Version (NIV)

The Tower of Babel

11 Now the whole world had one language and a common speech. As people moved eastward,[a] they found a plain in Shinar[b] and settled there.

They said to each other, “Come, let’s make bricks and bake them thoroughly.” They used brick instead of stone, and tar for mortar. Then they said, “Come, let us build ourselves a city, with a tower that reaches to the heavens, so that we may make a name for ourselves; otherwise we will be scattered over the face of the whole earth.”

But the Lord came down to see the city and the tower the people were building. The Lord said, “If as one people speaking the same language they have begun to do this, then nothing they plan to do will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down and confuse their language so they will not understand each other.”

So the Lord scattered them from there over all the earth, and they stopped building the city. That is why it was called Babel[c]—because there the Lord confused the language of the whole world. From there the Lord scattered them over the face of the whole earth.

Fifth, stop letting the media be your mouthpiece.   They will come and they will report, but call them out when they misreport, don’t let them spin your message.   They are out for dollars and if stirring up trouble will help that, then that’s what they will do. The media thrives when there is strife.   Normal, everyday nice life is boring and doesn’t sell.  So it’s in their best interest to foster violence and strife.

Sixth, stop with the race-baiting garbage and childish antics.   We are all adults here.  We don’t need ‘safe spaces’ to be protected from ideas and speech that is different from ours.   We don’t need to bash people over the head about things they had no control over, such as being born white or black or hispanic or whatever.  Is there disparity in life and the workplace and so on? sure there is, that’s reality.  The world has been largely a patriarchy since time began.   The fact that God designed it that way sort of comes into play here.   There is disparity for women, minorities etc.   Not just here in the U.S.   Go to any other country and see if they don’t favor their own countrymen and women for jobs and such.  Go to a whole lot of other countries and see that woman don’t even have the same basic rights that women in American have.   Go to Asia and see the total disparity between men and women to the point that girl babies are aborted and killed in early infancy at a horrible rate even today in favor of boys.   If you don’t like what someone else is saying or talking about, don’t listen.  You aren’t any more special than anyone else and you have the same freedom of speech and such that the rest of us do.

Seventh, stop taking every little handout from the Government.  The more you are dependent on them, the more they own you.  The more they run your lives and determine your future.  They are using you to further their political agenda.  A free phone isn’t worth selling your soul for.  Work together, support each other.  Learn how to do things, plant a garden for food, work with the boys and girls clubs to help your children, GET INVOLVED.

Eighth, stop acting like black people have been the only victims of slavery.  Stop accusing white people of changing history to suit their purposes while willfully hiding and refusing to accept the fact that the slave trade to Britain and America could not have happened without black tribes and groups of people being willing to round up and sell their own people and because of that bear some responsibility for what happened. Every person group in the world has been a victim of slavery at one time or another and in some countries still are.  You cannot deny and hide this history and the history of Black folks owning slaves right here in America and being part of the problem and expect that anyone is going to be willing to agree with your view of this.  Refusing to acknowledge any history that proves other groups were slaves (even though it was called by another name) right here in America only serves to divide further and drive people away. It IS true what they say.  There is nothing new under the sun.  It’s all happened before in one way, shape or form.

Ninth, when deaths happen involving law enforcement, wait for ALL the facts to come in and be willing to accept that what you see and hear in the beginning isn’t going to be the whole story.  There are always multiple sides to every story, the victims side, the offenders side, the evidence side and the truth is somewhere in the middle of all that.  Remember that the media is only going to tell you what will sell the story.  In the meantime STOP trying to convince the world that a victim who was a career criminal and has an arrest record as long as your arm, was a law abiding, upstanding citizen who was a pillar of the community.   We know better!  It comes out in a matter of hours.  Be honest about who they were.   This will not change the facts.  It will not change the ultimate outcome.  Not being honest only gives the rest of the people another reason to believe that #BlackLivesMatter is a just another group with an agenda that condones and perpetrates violence and distorts facts to get their own way.

and finally Ten!   There are thousands upon thousands of people who want to resolve the issues, who want to stop the violence, all of it.   Who want to come together as one country, one people, who can work side by side, who can live side by side and do life together.  Who can work together to keep our neighborhoods safe and keep our children safe.  Who want to feel safe in a world of people who look different but are the same underneath.  Who want to live in a world of ‘Wondrous variety’.  Not only in the color of our skin but in the richness of our differences.

You are driving them away.  You are losing your audience, because you can’t see the forest for the trees.   Change is only going to come if we work together.   I don’t believe that any of us want an all out war, but that is where we are headed, if change doesn’t happen and happen soon.

 

To Speed Or Not to Speed?

I am sure many of you are thinking that the answer is obvious, but is it?

I would like to give you something to think about.

We have to start with a few basic premises, so let’s take this for a spin, shall we.

  Premise:

  1. The posted speed limit is the law.  As such you can be ticketed and fined for not obeying it.
  2. We should obey the law
  3. This probably doesn’t apply in smaller cities and towns or rural areas.

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s break this down.  Buckle your seat belts because the ride is about to get a little bumpy and there are a few twists and turns.

Driving here in Georgia has gotten quite a bit more complicated, at least on the freeways,  with the passing of a new law.   Called the ‘Slowpoke Law’, it mandates that if you are driving in the left lane on any highway, interstate or expressway, you must get out of the way of faster traffic.   Most of us who have been driving for any length of time should remember the signs on the freeways that read ‘Slow Traffic Keep right’.   In times past most states had a law that the the left lane was a ‘Passing Only’ lane.  You couldn’t just stay in it.  You had to move back over as soon as you passed the traffic in front of you. This law if still on the books is no longer enforced in many states.  ‘Slow Traffic Keep Right’ was designed so those people driving less than the posted speed limit were to stay in the right hand lane(s).

So here is where it starts to get bumpy.   If you are driving on the freeway whether you get ticketed for speeding tends to depend on if you are driving ‘with the flow’ of traffic or not.

So now we have this thing called ‘flow of traffic’  which is code for ‘the posted speed limit doesn’t apply anymore’  and which can vary from lane to lane.  Now remember the posted speed limit is the law, except……..when it isn’t!

And we have what is called a ‘Super Speeder Law’ which means significantly higher fines (hundreds of dollars higher) if you are ticketed for going more than 75mph on any 2 lane road or more than 85mph on any road or highway .  Which also doesn’t seem to apply when the ‘flow of traffic’ is in play on highways, interstates or expressways where the posted speed limit is 75mph. Because of course if the posted speed limit is 75mph most of the people are going to be driving at least 80 or 85.

UNLESS……… you are driving in the left lane on any highway, interstate or expressway.   Then you must move over if a vehicle driving faster than you are comes up behind you.

So let’s think about this a minute.  If I am driving along with the ‘flow of traffic’, which is moving between 10 and 15 mph over the posted speed limit, in the left lane, and someone zooms up behind me (meaning they are exceeding the posted speed limit by a significant amount) I, and everyone in front of me, have to get over and let them pass or I will get a ticket and presumably they are going to tack a speeding ticket on top of that.

So not only have we said that in certain situations the posted speed limit (which we have already stated is the law) is nullified, but we are now going to penalize people who are abiding by the ‘effective law’ (flow of traffic) in favor of someone who is going so fast that they are a serious danger to everyone around them rather than stopping that person and giving them the ticket.

Am I the only one who sees a serious problem with this?   First I don’t think you are going to find any highways, interstates or freeways where the flow of traffic isn’t higher than the posted speed limit.  It’s just where we are now.  Experts now tell us that signs of road rage include driving at a high rate of speed, weaving in and out of traffic, tailgating etc.

With the flow of traffic already being normally 10-15 mph over the posted speed limit, are we seriously going to enable those who show the signs of road rage by requiring everyone else to get out of their way or get ticketed?  Shouldn’t we be targeting the person who is endangering everyone else?

So you tell me, is the posted speed limit the law or isn’t it?

 

 

 

 

What difference does it make?

What difference does what make?   That is the question of the day.

Daily, sometimes multiple times a day, we are presented with posts or emails asking us to share information (mis-information most of the time).   This information runs the gamut from being the ‘Let’s do something nice’ to posts about what someone supposedly said or did.     Why is this an issue you may ask and what difference does it make if you share it without verifying?

How often do we stop to ask ourselves if what we are about to share is really true and what the possible effects of sharing it might be?   Up until recently I only really thought about it if it was a claim that was either too good to be true, something I wanted to get involved in or something that didn’t quite measure up.

When we do stop to think about it do we check it out and see if it’s really true or do we just blindly share and not spare another thought?

Here is something for you to think about.   Words and pictures once shared can never be taken back.   They spread like wildfire, going out of control so fast your head won’t have time to spin.    So what’s the big deal you may ask.

Let’s start by looking at some relatively minor effects.  Everything that is shared takes up space.  It resides on a server somewhere for posterity.   Space is not free, someone somewhere (Advertising anyone?) is paying for that space.  It clutters up inboxes and newsfeeds, sometimes to the point you can’t read the stuff you are really interested in.  Ok, I can see where that might be a problem, but is that a really big deal?

That might not be a ‘really’ big deal, but other things are.   First and foremost, how is it going to affect the person, organization or group that is the subject of the email or post?   The effects on these range from the positive to the absolutely horrible.  Sometimes it gets a business or group noticed which can be a good thing.   However this is typically not the most common outcome.  In cases of ‘Let’s do something Good’, here is an example.   There is a post going around about sending cards to ‘Any Wounded Soldier’ at Walter Reed hospital.   This program was discontinued in 2006 for administrative and security concerns.   These cards and gifts are returned to the sender and of course Walter Reed has to pay for the shipping.   Plus the costs to pay someone to deal with all of this.   At a time when the medical care our soldiers are receiving is suspect, we can’t afford for hospitals to have to spend precious dollars on paying staff and postage to handle this.

What about posts about individuals?   Recognition can be great but in appropriate doses.   Just ask celebrities what happens when they become ‘famous’.   Think stalkers, over agressive fans, etc.   It can take people living a normal life and put them into a spotlight they don’t want and that can jeopardize them and their family.

And what about those posts that say negative things about an organization, group or individual?   The backlash is horrendous and many times goes way beyond what is appropriate for the ‘crime’.  But what if it’s not true?   People lose their jobs, family and sometimes their lives.

Are you willing to contribute to this?   Think about it and put yourself in their shoes?

I ask all of my readers, verify before you share,  you very well could be saving someones job, family or life.

What about

Christianity, what’s in it for me?

I see so many posts and hear so many people asking the question why should anyone become a Christian.   They aren’t asking because they don’t understand the message of what Jesus did for them, they aren’t asking because they don’t understand what it might  mean for them.

They are asking if it’s worthwhile because what they see in other Christians does not give them any hope for anything better.   If we as Christians do not live like we are Christians, if we don’t live like we have the eternal promise of Salvation, if we don’t live like we believe that Jesus is our Rock, our comforter and our provider, why would anyone want to live like us.

If our lives do not reflect the joy and promise of eternal salvation, why would anyone give up what they perceive as the only pleasure they can attain to become a Christian?

We are called to be in the world, but not OF the world.   You cannot behave like everyone else, have the same standards as everyone else, not be discerning in the type of music and entertainment you watch or listen to, not be modest in your dress and still claim that you have Jesus and the Holy Spirit in your heart and soul guiding you.   It’s not that you are forced to give up what you have, it’s that with Jesus and the Holy Spirit acting in your life, your desires change,  you want different things.

You MUST live with an external, visible difference from the rest of the world.

Does this mean we won’t go through suffering and difficulty?   Not at all, Christians are not promised an easy road, as a matter of fact the road to heaven is narrow and hard.   We will have suffering the same as any man.   The difference is we have a comforter, a rock to cling to, a tower of strength outside of ourselves that support us as we navigate troubled waters.

We have a Heavenly Father who listens to us.   Whether his answer to our prayer is to heal, or ease our circumstances or allow us to go through the deep waters and bring us out on the other side stronger and with wisdom, he hears our prayers.   He never leaves us, nor forsakes us.

Brothers and Sisters, let us live with the promise of tomorrow shining in our attitudes and behaviors.   Let us be a light to a darkened world.

Going ‘Postal’

Today a new tragedy.   2 news persons where shot dead on live tv, the result of a disgruntled employee.    The news is full of these anymore, unhappy employees, family members, students deciding that they no longer want to live this life, and are determined to take out all those who they feel were the cause of their unhappiness, depression etc.

This increasing number of incidents tells me that we are in serious trouble.   Who is next, who will be collateral damage in some self-righteous person’s rage against those who have ‘wronged’ them?

I see 3 major issues in our society today that have lead up to this happening.

  • The ‘it’s all about me’ attitude
  • The unwillingness to accept any responsibility for anything in their life
  • Blaming it all on mental illness

I know that I am not going to make any friends with that last statement but I will forge ahead.   Yes, there are many mentally ill people in this world and it’s a horrible problem that needs much attention.   Is it possible that some of these are directly related to mental illness?  Absolutely.    But I firmly believe that the majority of these are not mentally ill people.   I believe that they are selfish, self-centered people who have never been required to take responsibility for anything.   They were never taught that their happiness, livelihood, friendships, lifestyle etc. are their responsibility and require effort and work.   They believe that it’s up to their employer to provide their dream job, their spouse to fulfill their emotional needs, their friends to fill their other emotional needs and that the world owes them a living.  They believe that they should be treated like the best and the smartest and that no one can dislike them or even have a harsh word for them regardless of the effort they put towards being the best, smartest, friendliest etc.   They have never been taught the lesson that how people perceive you is 99% your responsibility.

We live in a society that is increasingly in favor of allowing anyone who isn’t ‘happy’ with their life to end it by killing themselves.  It has become a cause to be celebrated.   Life has no intrinsic value anymore unless you want it to have value.   If you have decided that your life has no value, we will celebrate you instead of trying to convince you otherwise.

We have also created a culture where people think they are entitled to be lauded at every opportunity (participation trophies anyone?) and if they aren’t something is wrong and we need to do something about it.  We have implied that everyone is entitled to praise where it is not warranted, happiness when we haven’t done anything to work for it, acknowledgement for showing up and on and on.   We have told people that unless these things happen they can’t be happy.   We have told them that if they aren’t happy then life isn’t worth living. We have told them that fame is what matters and that living an ordinary day to day existence with the peaks and valleys and joys and sorrows that are a part of life aren’t enough.

So we must extend this to the person who has decided that they no longer want to live and if their life has no value then the lives of the people who have ‘wronged’ them also have no value.    With this mentality it is easy to see why someone who has decided that they can no longer live would decide that ‘if they have to die’ then why should those who have caused them so much unhappiness live either.  They are going to ‘get their 15 minutes of fame’.

As long as we continue to celebrate this idea that the only value that life has is in the mind of the individual, it’s just going to get worse.

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